Communicating To Connect

By Dick Biggs

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"Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

--Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

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Good communication is necessary to inform and inspire, but it's especially critical if you want to influence. To persuade others, you must connect convincingly with your message. Otherwise, why are you communicating?

Here are three ways to become a better communicator. First, evaluate these styles of influence to determine what kind of communicator you are:

• Coercion - This is the "gun in your face" style of the tyrant. While this forceful method can achieve short-term results, it's doomed for long-term failure in the business world.



• Intimidation - "You'll do it this way or..." is the trademark of the dictator, who commands little or no respect. This style of influence is tolerated by weak, insecure people who'd rather cooperate than challenge.



• Manipulation - This is the one-sided style of the controller, who must "win" at the expense of others. The net result is distrust and suspicion.



• Negotiation - "Give and take" is probably the most common style of influence. It's the approach of the politician and can be very effective if "scorekeeping" doesn't get in the way.



• Persuasion - The orator knows how to stir the hearts of people by appealing to their emotions. The key is sincerity, because people must believe that the message is truly in their best interests.



• Education - The practitioner influences people by taking the logical approach through meticulous preparation. People act because it simply makes good sense.



• Inspiration - This is the highest form of influence because it's a skillful combination of emotional and logical appeal. The encourager understands that eloquence and example must be congruent if people are to be convinced by the message.

Second, if your style of influence is coercive, intimidating or manipulative, strive to become a negotiator, persuader, educator or inspirer. This will mean listening better. It will mean being more aware of your body language. And it will mean asking for feedback in order to master the win-win skills of an effective communicator.

If you're already communicating in a positive manner, ask: How can I improve these skills? What books can I read? What tapes can I listen to? What seminars can I attend? What people can help me get to the next level of communication?

Finally, always remember that no matter how well you convey a message with words, people are more influenced by your ways. If you aren't "walking your talk," you undermine your message and communication boosters become communication barriers.

                              

If you and your organization would like to learn more about communication and teamwork, please e-mail or call Dick Biggs at (770) 886-3035 for more information.